I believe birth really is more art than science. If you gather a group of 25 women and ask them what a contraction feels like, you will get 25 different explanations. If you ask them about their birth experience, you will get 25 very different impressions.
I think what is missing today in modern obstetrics is the recognition that women want a birth experience. Some women want an unmedicated birth and some want the epidural when they walk through the door, but they all want their experience to be miraculous and sacred. Sometimes a woman doesn't even realize how important this is to her until she has a birth that is less than satisfying.
A woman in labor is a masterpiece. Left to her own, she will usually find her "groove". I love the moment when a woman finds that. At a recent birth I attended, I walked in to hear mom singing a song about Greek letters and such. I later found out this was her sorority song. When the contractions were difficult, her "groove" was to sing that song and it worked to move her through the process. Another client quietly rocked and chanted, "Good things are happening down there" over and over again. It is beautiful. It is art. Mom is painting her birth experience. We need to respect her canvas.....her space. Let her create.
Labor calls a woman to reach deep within herself and be completely strong and completely vulnerable all at the same time. When a woman's labor stalls for a bit and technology is rushed to her side to "make things happen", then we diminish her work. We, in essence, tell her that what she is doing just isn't enough. Her masterpiece doesn't meet the expectations.
Pregnancy is not a disease and labor is not a condition to be managed. It is a process.....a journey. As long as we continue to "manage" birth instead of allowing a life to enter the world in the same miraculous way that it is created, then women will continue to feel dissatisfied with themselves and their birth. They may not be able to tell you exactly why they feel this "void", after all, they have a healthy baby and that's the goal....right? We must recognize that it is so much more than that. It is an image, a work of art, that will linger in a woman's mind for the rest of her life. She will look at it many times. She will attempt to interpret it. She will ask others to look at it and give their opinion. She will either see it as her most beautiful work, or she will consider it to be lacking.
1 comment:
"That's the push!!!"
I know this to be true as having experienced it through my wife giving birth to two boys.
The first was an "emergency c-section". The second was 12 hours of labor and 4 hours of pushing, with no medication! The other women in the room kept commenting on their amazement.
The first labor and delivery experience left my wife with complex and hard to articulate emotions. As you point out the only positive thing for her was that our first born son is in fact very healthy. As a result of that experience she was determined to have the next child as God designed and intended. With His help she achieved the goal.
My wife found her groove in "That's the push!!!"
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