What is a doula?

I get this question all the time. It's a funny word, really(prounouced doo-luh). This is quoted from the DONA website(www.dona.org):

The word "doula" comes from the ancient Greek meaning "a woman who serves" and is now used to refer to a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during and just after birth; or who provides emotional and practical support during the postpartum period.

People ask me, "Do you deliver the baby?" I say, "No, I'm just along for the ride." It sounds trite, but really I am.

Mom is on a journey that she has been traveling for 9 months. She has read books, she has talked to countless friends who have explained their births in detail(for better or worse)and she has poured over her gift registry trying to decide which of the 300 stroller models is the safest, best and cutest. She is driving this ride!!!

Along comes labor. It starts slow and builds. Mom and dad call me. I come over and watch mom's demeanor. I give her a reassuring smile every time she looks at me so that she will know she is doing everything right. I chat with dad, assure him that he is going to do fine also. And we all let the process unfold. I step in with a suggestion or a back rub if needed. Sometimes I remind mom to breathe or to relax. I reassure mom and dad at each stage that what she is feeling is normal and that she can do this. I provide a constant presence so dad can update family, grab a bite to eat, or just go to the bathroom! I help parents navigate the decisions about interventions and procedures so that they feel they can make informed decisions. And, of course, I fetch ice and sprite and coffee for dad at 2am and all those "practical" things.

At the end of the day, my goal is not that my clients feel they couldn't have done it without me. Rather, I hope they feel like THEY did it, and I just made the ride a little easier.