As the end of another year of attending women approaches, I can't help but reflect on the blessings in my life as a birth attendant. It would be easy to become distracted by the many obstacles that rolled in my path this year.....the arrest of my midwife, a divide in the doula/midwife community, the fight for the rights of women that sometimes seems an enormous mountain to climb. But in anyone's life, if you look close enough, you can see the blessings. I want to express my thankfulness for some of those here:
1. I am thankful for women who want to be informed. It isn't easy to read all the books and sift through the plethora of information on the internet to try to find the truth. These women print articles, study statistics and relentlessly pursue truth all for the benefit of the baby that they carry into this world. It isn't easy to make a decision about birth that makes your family gasp, shake their heads and murmur about you behind your back. It is hard to be the lone woman in a playgroup who doesn't make the same birth decisions as the majority. It's hard to stand for something that will inevitably cause you more pain and work than anything else in your life. But they do it....and they do it well. I am blessed to know them and serve them.
2. I am thankful for Dr. Susan Roque, Certified Nurse Midwife Marcia Ensminger, and Certified Nurse Midwife Nicole Winecoff. These women stand in the face of those who would run them out of town daily and they fight for the rights of women birthing in the hospital. They also provide an out of hospital option, The Natural Beginnings Birth Center, for women who may not be ready for a homebirth, but also don't want the trappings of the hospital experience. For those going to the hospital, they offer respect and an ear that listens to a woman's wishes. They do not strive to be in control or to manipulate a woman into doing what is easiest for them. They do not make decisions based on the possibility of a lawsuit that could wipe out their possessions and career. Despite being harassed by hospital administrators, unnecessarily investigated by fellow doctors with cesarean rates 4 times their own(who should be investigated?), they stand and serve the women who seek them wanting something better......something different for themselves and their babies. They challenge their peers with a cesarean rate of 17% in the face of others having rates over 40% and show them that it can be done. However, their lives would be less stressful and easier all around if they just gave in and played the game like the others. However, empowered birth is a cause that burns in their souls and for them to do that would be to compromise their calling and their convictions. I wish everyone knew how hard it is to stand for something so sacred in the midst of the billionaire boys club of doctors who would rather see you crash and burn.
3. I am thankful for my family. They wait for me to come home. They remain quiet so that I can catch up on my sleep. They ask about the women I birth with. They care about each one. My tween son likes to keep track of how many boys and girls are born from month to month. My four year old says that birth is fun. My husband turns off the movie we just got into with grace and understanding as I run out the door. He sleeps alone many nights and patiently keeps the fires burning at home in my absence. My mother will scramble to pick up my children so that I can reach a mother whose poor husband is calling me saying, "Please, come quick!" and she will pray fervently for the mother having a long and difficult labor. Without all of them, I would not be able to provide the care that I do.
4. I am thankful for my mentors. The midwives and women who have taught me everything I know are my superheroes. My midwife has taught me well and the other midwives that surround me have shaped and fashioned me into the birth professional that I have become. They have taught me respect for labor, compassion for mothers and the importance of a baby's first moments. They risk their freedom daily for the cause of a woman's right to birth where she desires and with who she desires. They give a woman a sip of water, hold her crying toddler while charting a blood pressure, clean a bathroom after a laboring mom vomits all over it and comfort a woman after a miscarriage. They don't have an answering service and they do make house calls. The compensation they receive is minuscule and they sacrifice their own needs to wait for a client's tax return or a father to find a new job so that the financial pressures won't put added stress on the family.
5. I am thankful for medical intervention. When it is truly needed, it is lifesaving and invaluable. When a mother develops a complication or when baby is not well, our system and technology can provide life saving therapies and support that can give moms and babies a good outcome and hope for a future.
6. I am thankful for doulas who live to serve women. These women sacrifice so much.....going into the hospital and helping women to navigate what can quickly become an island of chaos and intervention. When doulas function in their calling, they spread encouragement and hope to everyone they touch. They put a woman's needs above their own agendas or philosophies even when it is difficult. And they support the birth community....helping to make it a stronger and more united place......always promoting the needs of women and babies.
7. I am thankful for our legislatures whose names are here http://www.ncleg.net/gascripts/members/memberList.pl?sChamber=House and here http://www.ncleg.net/gascripts/members/memberList.pl?sChamber=Senate who I believe will do the right thing for women in 2012 and license CPMs to help provide a safer homebirth community in NC. I believe that they will look at the facts and recognize that homebirth is increasing, despite our antiquated laws, and that they will bring them up to date. It's hard to institute change and it comes with a lot of blood, sweat and tears, but it is crucial to becoming a stronger state and reducing our infant and maternal mortality.
8. I am thankful for North Carolina Friends of Midwives. www.ncfom.com If you have not joined, please do. They need your help now more than ever. They need your dollars...plain and simple. The work they do provides no financial compensation but costs more than you could imagine. If you ever intend to have a baby in NC, then their work affects the experience that you will have. The advocacy that they provide improves the birth environment overall for all women and they do not take this lightly.
9. I am thankful for the moms who function in my birth community. They are incredible. When someone loses their husband, they rally together and buy grocery gift cards and other needed things. When someone has a baby in June and their air conditioning malfunctions, they put their resources together and provide for her. The see a need, and they respond. When a midwife is arrested, women pledge support and resources to help her, whether she delivered their baby or not. These women exude love and understanding. They unite for a common cause despite their individual differences. They bring their nursing babies and sleepy toddlers on a three hour trip to demonstrate to their local government that they expect to be heard and counted. They bless me. When I have lost my faith in man, they remind me that there is not only hope, but abundant support always waiting in the wings.
Sometimes it is overwhelming to look around and see everything that God is doing in my life. I know that this good work will continue. It has to. Giving in to the mainstream isn't an option because too many people stand to be harmed.
So on this Thanksgiving, I will reflect on these and other wonderful blessings and remember that despite a flailing economy, an oppressed birth climate and a shameful infant mortality rate in NC, I am personally abundantly blessed by those around me. I am surrounded by people who care and who stand ready to provide something better........one woman at a time.
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